The Many Hitlers of Albion
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Oh boy that title. Anyone who's chosen to read this far at least, I congradulate you for at least having an open enough mind not to see the word "Hitler" and just turn around and walk away, and if you stick around a little longer I dare say you might learn something and maybe be a little intrigued.

First off let me explain what I actually mean by "Hitler" because believe it or not that word is up to interpretation. When I say Hitler I'm not referring to Adolf himself and there's a good reason why. Now anyone who's just pissed off somewhere else now assuming this was click bait, firstly fuck you you ignorant asshole 'cause I'm sure more than one of those people are going to go around slating me to just about anyone who will listen to them on the internet.

Of course they'll be proven to be complete morons by anyone who dares to read this any further, but it still annoys me how many people just read that far and then feel the need to disgrace me all over the internet when they haven't ever read the god-damned thing I typed in the first place. Sorry, venting aside, as I said I have a good reason why the fuhrer himself has never actually featured in any Albion products and anyone might be able to figure out why if they gave it a little thought.

Given what I just said it's obvious that Hitler is a touchy subject matter, even more so than World War II or indeed the holocaust itself. What's even more the case is the 99% of the planet knows only 2 things about him 1, what he looked like and 2, that he was a nasty and evil man, and there-in lies the problem. Everyone is so set in the mindset that Hitler was a generic evil villain that they don't actually know anything else about his life and in particular they don't know 2 important things, 1, his personality and 2, anything he actually did.

Now let me stop you before you click away thinking I'm going to start promoting Hitler just for questioning his pesonality and actions and let me ask you 1 simple question. What personality traits do you know Hitler had other than being evil and what do you know Hitler did in the war other than kill Jews? And now you might be starting to see my point here.

Evil isn't a personality, it's a mood or trend of behavior. It doesn't say whether for example Hitler likes to read the newspaper or ride a bike. The obvious problem with basing a character off that in Albion is that there's no material to actually place that character in any other setting than a war specifically. As Albion isn't constantly gripped in a neverending war, it would mean that Hitler, at least at some point, would have to engage in activities that don't specifically involve combat, and then of course it gets difficult to say what kind of actions he would take in a given situation.

Well the obvious answer in most people's eyes would be to look at his past and draw up examples of events he's been involved in to use as source material. However in the case of Hitler specifically that too has a problem. You see there are an awful lot of myths about Hitler. Don't click away assuming that I'm going paint him in a favorable light. Read a little further. Let me explain what I mean by that.

For example Hitler was injured during the First World War and was reported to have hideous scars on his body underneath his clothes. However during World War II pictures were made public showing Hitler's bare chest, arms and obviously face that showed no such scarring. The Brittish then claimed that scarring was on the lower part of his body below the waistline and therefore unseen.

This lead rise to the song "Hitler has only got one ball". However as it turns out this isn't true at all and Hitler in fact had two fully fuctional testacles. Doctors who supposedly treated Hitler even kept up th story that Hitler had 1 testacle, just so they could prove that they had worked on Hitler. Despite the fact the rumor wasn't true, everyone was sure that Hitler had one testacle at the time. If a doctor claimed to have treated Hitler and didn't mention it, he would be accused of lying.

In reality hitler was not hideously scarred at all and the original rumor from World War I was in fact fabricated. So after a needlessly conveluted set of events where people were desperately trying to prove one point, they created a rumor that became so ingrained into culture that it was seen as fact, and anyone who said otherwise was seen as a fraud.
Unfortunately this is but 1 example and Hitler's life story is littered with other such rumors, meaning that other than the holocaust there's not much we can say Hitler actually did or was involved in. This is also compounded by the fact that Hitler had a lot of people who either despised him or adored him, and their accounts of events are, needless to say, very biased indeed.

Essentially where Hitler is concerned it's pretty much a blank slate and I think that might be reason why he's subject to more parodies and inclusions in things as a villain than any other figure either real or ficticious. However for me in particular it's not such a great thing that Hitler can be written or fashioned in many infinite ways, as without guidance I have no idea which way to design him in my ficticious universe that still shares most of the same history as our world.

To me that's more of a problem than the controversial aspects of including Hitler at all. So in the end rather than deciding to put Hitler in Albion and defining him one particular way, I decided not to include Hitler at all and instead make several Hitler themed characters with different names, different stories and different personalities.

Now you might be asking why I didn't include Hitler as well as the variations and the answer is simple. If there was 1 character that was defined as Hitler himself, it would make all the other Hitlers inferior, at least in my eyes. So in short the smoking gun in the room is in the room is missing and there's a ton of other potential murder weapons. Each person has their favorite Hitler copycat character and many people see their favorite as THE Hitler of the Albion universe but I think it's best that everyone has their own preferences and opinions.

Most importantly of all is the fact that none of them share enough characteristics to be recognized as Hitler instantly, for example none of them have his trademark toothbrush mustache. Because if someone could take one look and say "That's Hitler" then any other characters would be seen as inferior. And if more than one character shared the same obvious design trait then I would be accused of lacking imagination despite how different the rest of the character might be.

Hugo (Schweisser / Guile)
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There is in fact 1 character that has that mustache and fans might already know who I'm talking about here. Hugo Guile in the Albion universe was a Brittish assassin in World War II who's task it was to kill gestapo officers. He of course is hardly a Hitler clone and the addition of a bowler hat might make it obvious who his design is based on.

Of course that hasn't stopped people wrongly accusing him of being one mainly due to his sadistic enjoyment out of watching people die and of course his German name. However both of those things are down to a member of a website I visit on a regular basis. The guy in question has the name Hugo Schweisser and Hugo Guile has a sadistic enjoyment from watching people's demise after Schweisser's reaction to watching FPS gameplay videos. That's also the reason why Guile tends to yell "Woohoo!" because it's a trait of Schweisser as well.

Now people from the website I visit know Schweisser well despite it being a large community as he's a bit of a celebrity there. They obviously know that Schweisser is no nazi and due to playing one too many American FPS'es probably hates nazies even more than most other people. However many stupid people assume the Albion character is either based on Hitler or a nazi and therefore reverse invent the character back to Schweisser, calling him a nazi of some sort.

Needless to say, this is the subject of quite a few arguments between native members of the website and ignorant people from outside the website, who feel the need to join and have their voice heard before either, disappearing before anyone can set them straight, or stupidly repeating the same bullshit over and over, whenever anyone tries to prove them wrong or make them see reason. Mainly in the case of the latter, it's either "I'm right and you're wrong", "I don't know anything but-" or some frankly rather colorful language about anti-German racism.

Many people somehow think that the real life person is a fraud and has based his identity on the german World War II weapons engineer Hugo Schmeisser, using the fact that Schweisser likes to play World War II based FPS'es and probably drew inspiration from them. There are in fact four glaring holes to this theory.

First off, the only reason Hugo plays so many FPS'es based on World War II is because there are so many of them in the first place and, if they took the time to actually research it, they'd find that the distribution of games Hugo plays just simply matches the distribution of FPS'es released at the same time. There's no real lean towards any theme in particular.

Second, Hugo usually plays on the side of the alliance or otherwise good guys during such FPS'es. It stands to reason that he would prefer to play as the nazi side if he's basing himself on them. The fact he doesn't and the fact he has quite a few nasty things to say about nazies during gameplay sorta suggests that he really doesn't like them.

Third, Schweisser is in fact his name and there are numerous members of the website who have met the guy in person, his family and friends and many people who know the guy. Either the members would have to be lying, which is unlikely as they are from all walks of life and many aren't actually fans of his, or all his friends and family are lying, which is a concept so ridiculous it makes the moon landing conspiracies look like local gossip by comparrisson.

Fourth, it seems many people are forgetting another Hugo Schweisser, or as it's written in modern day slang, Hugo Schwyzer, an American author, speaker and former instructor of history and gender studies, at least as far as I cared to look into it in my general fact sites. The guy is the subject of a lot of controversy, especially since, as far as the internet is concerned, his idea of feminism is that women should be allowed to explore their sexual interests without fear of looking manly and that Schwyzer is all too happy to enjoy the spoils or such actions.

Now on that point it's somewhat of an issue in itself as Schweisser does agree that women should be allowed to be free-spirited in a sexual context, however he is opposed to anyone who takes that as an opportunity. Although what counts as taking the opportunity itself is somewhat of an unanswerable question and there's things that Hugo has done where nobody is quite sure where the boundary lies.

However the fly in this ointment is the fact that the Hugo in this case (Schweisser) is in fact homosexual and so doesn't have the same sexual interests in women, though haters like to disagree. This makes the male shovanist claims look all too sketchy as a whole though some say his approach to men mirrors that of Schwyzer's approach to women.

Suffice to say that Hugo Schweisser and Hugo Guile both have an extensive amount of controversy to their name and no amount of intervention by me as the owner of my character is going to change that. Guile may be a good guy in the series but there's already too much fan theories to avoid the fact that many see him as probably THE Hitler of Albion.

Arnold Todd
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The first Hitler-like character in the Albion series is Arnold Todd. He briefly appeared in World War III and Rumble as a high-ranking member of the good guys that simply operated on a different team to the main characters and so was just a background character. However he was included in the main troop early on in the G-force series after that and, though not the oversized physique of a body builder, he was still known for his physical strength as well as strength of character.

Getting defeated fairly early on in the series, he quit the team, despite the fact he wasn't badly injured, as his pride being ruined by failure discouraged him. At the time he was seen as a coward but subsequent involvement in helping the good guys later on, despite the fact he never took part in Samer Team directly, somewhat reformed his character.

Beta Team, the group Arnold became part of, often featured in the G-force series as a rival group to Samer Team that was also working for the G-force and often crossed paths with Samer Team. However despite Beta Team being highly jealous of Samer Team, Arnold and another teammate called Cynthia were often quick to support Samer Team and would hear no bad word said about them.

Arnold later disappears along with the rest of Beta Team during SJS when the G-force base is destroyed. Presumedly dead, it's a mystery why we don't hear of Beta Team in the New World saga, despite the fact the G-force themselves do reappear. Obviously it stands to reason that, should the G-force turn up, their top agents should as well, but neither Beta Team or Gamma Team, two different teams that were an essential part of the G-force, have turned up since.

Though you might be inclined to believe that it must be a whole new set of people, oddly enough Delta Team, who were also part of the G-force, do turn up as part of the new group. This raises many questions indeed, especially as Delta Team were actually killed prior to the G-force base being destroyed whilst representing a different group to the G-force and should by all rights be a separate group entirely in the New World saga.

Crooper (not Croupier or Cooper)
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Another Hitler-like figure was a character called Crooper. In the G-force series, he was a crook that was part of gang that operated within New York city. Samer Team managed to shut the gang down but Crooper and a group of other former members of the gang formed their own gang afterwards and used their streetwise tactics and criminal skills to dismantle other gangs from the inside out and generally do good deeds.

After being fed misleading information by one of the gangs affected by Crooper's gang, Samer Team were sent to shut Crooper down but Samer noticed something was off and came to the correct conclusion that Crooper's gang were reformed. Samer Team would go on to work with Crooper's gang at multiple points afterwards as they were particularly useful at information gathering.

However years later a gangster known as Van was able to play Crooper's gang at their own game and turn them against the G-force. Unfortunately in this case it was handled by a different group of the G-force and Samer didn't know about it until it was too late. However Crooper and various members of his gang somehow turned up alive afterwards claiming to have escaped a G-force prison facility unknown to Samer Team.

The reunion was unfortunately not a happy one as Crooper was still under the manipulation of Van's agents and fought Samer Team. After the fight Crooper and 2 other members of the gang managed to escape and disappeared without a trace for a while, reappearing a fraction group of Tiger Corp in SJS.

The gang took out Delta Team, a group that Samer Team knew well, since they were also part of the G-force. However as it turned out, Delta Team and Crooper's Gang, were both independant and didn't represent Tiger Corp or the G-force. The fight between Crooper's gang and Delta Team was personal and had absolutely nothing to do with the war that was raging between Tiger Corp and G-force all around them.

Crooper later died helping Samer Team defeat the G-force though just before the event he was suspected dead after trying to defend Tiger during G-force's attack on Tiger Corp. His motives for helping Tiger are unclear and still unknown to this day especially as he didn't seem to care about the rest of Tiger Corp dying at all.

Crooper did appear briefly in the New World saga later on as a man working for Van, which raises many questions indeed. However he reportedly worked for many other criminal gangs around that time.

Later a very Crooper looking man appeared in Series 3 as a henchman of Noman. It could be that Crooper is working as a hired hand for anyone that'll employ him. It's worth noting that since the remaining members of his gang were killed whilst defending Tiger, Crooper has appeared without his gang members by his side. Since they all exist in the same world in Valhalor, it's a mystery why none of them have teamed up since, especially since two members of the gang were particularly close to him in the series throughout.

Tony Krail (alias. real identity unknown)
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Another Hitler wannabe was Antoni Krail, though this one tends to slip under the radar as a Hitler clone as the connection isn't obvious. Tony doesn't physically resemble Hitler but there are certain elements about his story that might raise a few eyebrows, especially since unlike a lot of the others Tony has a friendly connection with the nazi party in his story.

Tony fell in love with engineering after visiting a war museum in Berlin and took a special interest in the nazi tanks and artillary cannons. Worming his way into a group of neo-nazies he started building a railroad cannon in the Nevada desert.

Drawing the curiousity of the G-force, who spotted the train using satellite imaging, Samer Team managed to sneak into a hidden tunnel in a mountainside with a base built into the mountain, accessible from the tunnel below. Samer Team defeat the group and Tony initially claims to be a captive until Samer Team attempt to destroy the train and Tony goes into a rage.

Riding the train off into the desert along an ancient and unused railroad he attempts fire on Las Vegan but Samer Team is able to lower the cannon preventing him from doing so. Cannon now lowered his engages fire on Samer Team instead but the poor conditions of the unused rails leads to a crash. Crushed under the massive weight of the cannon he's presumed dead and the neo-nazi group is caught, though not all of it.

However Tony is not in fact crushed under the cannon as it appears and is merely stuck in a gap between the cannon and its mounting. Tony then proceeds to make his escape when the cannon is lifted and disappears with Samer Team presuming that if he doesn't return to civilization soon he'll die in the desert.

However he later appears in the Metallic series as a henchman of Doctor Kin. It's explained later that Tony worked with Kin at Trilabs and also had a portal device. He predicted where Doctor Kin was going and went to meet up with him on planet Mobias later forming a friendship and joining forces.

Tony doesn't really turn up in the series after that point, bu his grandson does, going by the name "Grail", a misinterpretation of the surname. Grail helps the main characters in the series on a couple of occassions though his involvement is short-lived. He doesn't meet an unfortunate end but rather returns to his duties of being a local hero and presumedly he's still doing it.

Laslo Vegas
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Another Hitler clone is Laslo Vegas. His outfit is that of a nazi soldier somewhat but otherwise he doesn't resemble Hitler himself. However Laslo's motives were to create a superior master race and the details of his plans and the methods he used mirrored the nazi's attempt to create the Superman race or Ubermens in German.

Laslo even refers to the race as Supermen and ethnic cleansing is a major part of his plan. He set up a base of operations in and around Las Vegas, his hometown, and set about trying to wipe out anyone who didn't fit his ideals, starting with the weakest and most vulnerable first.

He didn't get very far as Samer Team shut Laslo down whilst his organisation was just beginning, even though in that short space of time Laslo had managed to gather up quite a considerably large army of followers.

He would have just been lost to Albion's history books if it wasn't for the fact that he actually came back later with a set of abilities he dubbed "Bag of Bones". These abilities included stabbing people with his fingers, breaking people's bones into bitesize pieces and drawing people's organs out of their bodies.

These powers though grotesque didn't hurt or kill the victim but it unfortunately put their lives in Laslo's hands as wihout him returning them to normal, they would die without Laslo's powers. He used this trick to control some influencial people but when he met LeChon in the Elite saga he knew he could do better.

Often the more subtle member of LeChon's group he used his powers to gain influence and resources for LeChon but, when LeChon's group had to move from place to place without staying too long in one location, Laslo's slow acting tactics rendered him obsolete and he was killed by LeChon himself.

Later he turned up as a member of The Reich on Valhalor however he was practically held captive due to his magic powers being disliked by the group. He later rebelled against them and joined the Cascor though he never became a Cascor himself and instead unlocked his potential via different means transforming him into a grotesque mass of flesh and bone in a a roughly human form.

However Laslo was unable to control his powers without using the right methods and his body eventually started to break down. After attempting to seek help from Drako pretending that he'd changed his ways he was rejected and instead sought the aid of a team of doctors known as the Unknown Ailment.

Still highly unstable but stable enough not to destroy himself, he returned to the Cascor, but after working for them for a while the Cascor kicked him out for his inappropriate methods. He currently lives in town he built in the wilds of Cascor with numerous other rejects.

Hanz Richter (alias. real identity unknown)
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Not really looking that much like Hitler but more acting like him, Hanz plans to carry on the Fuhrer's plans following the collapse of Nazi Germany. Starting off on a recently built manmade island in Valhalor, his Reich forces claimed some land but were met by a group of people who were looking to reform the allied forces of World War II and a war ensued.

According to Hanz himself, he was the man who assisted Hitler's suicide by firing the fatal bullet. The only problem with this theory is that there was no Hanz Richter present at the time so obviously his name is an alias.

Fans have wondered who this mysterious Hanz is with many people spouting theories as to which person who was present it might be. As people can change their appearance in Valhalor it could be anyone but fans began to notice that he bore a startling resemblance to Harald Quandt, the stepson of Joseph Goebbels, who was Hitler's Minister of Propaganda. Another popular theory is that it could be Heinz Linge, Hitler's valet, who was in theory the first to discover the body.

To me the Harald Quandt theory makes sense as Hanz by his own admission survived the war after being captured by allied forces and became an engineer, something that definitely happened to Harold. Hanz also supposedly died some time before the late 70s and of course Harold died in the 60s. Heinz on the other hand died at the start of the 80s.

However the only thing we have to go off to prove their past is their own account of events. Hanz might not have been present at actual death of Hitler which may explain why he believed it was an assisted suicide as that was the theory at the time. This sorta proves the Harald Quandt theory.

By comparisson Heinz could be lying about the date of his death and, being the first to discover the bodies, it stands to reason that he had the chance to kill Hitler and make it look like a suicide. Heinz was also in captivity following the war, unlike Harold who was in captivity during the time Hitler died.

Of course there's a third posibility that, whoever Hanz is, they might have died around the time of Hitler's death and returned to Darkworld to then become an engineer. After changing their appearance of course.

Eva Braun is the only person who was definitely present at the actual time of Hitler's death and her being female is no excuse as to why she couldn't have changed her identity. Many people think this might be quite a stretch of the imagination with a likely reason for it being false that name Hanz is much closer to Harold or Heinz.

The fact the given name has to be similar makes no sense as Hanz is just the most common boys name in Germany and so would be an obvious alias for anyone to adopt. The surname Richter has often also been used as clue but its similarity to the word Reich might explain where its origins lie.